A Screw Up’s Guide to Magick

Everything you do is a complaint against a previous method of doing that same thing.

You are Doing Magick Wrong

You are almost certainly not as diligent as you should be. Did you skip rituals or feast days because of a family gathering? Did you do your dawn ritual at seven in the morning, when you actually woke up? You are almost certainly cutting corners. Did you make moon water by having it sit in the light of a Sailor Moon episode rather than beneath the light of a full moon? Did you buy your chicken blood from a butcher? You are almost certainly contravening your own code and creed. Did you wish harm on people despite the Law of Three? Did you contravene dietary prohibitions because you really love bacon burgers?

I know you are skipping things. I know you are cutting corners. Now obviously, you should be performing your practice as diligently as you can manage. But what does that mean? Are you doomed because you cut corners? Are you a fake? A fraud? A charlatan? Well, yes. But not because of this. Obviously you should be as diligent as you can manage. But I am telling you here that what you miss will not spell your doom. You will find what corners you can cut and still get results. You will learn what needs to be authentic, and what can be faked. I promise you that not being perfect will not destroy you as an occultist.

Now why do you think I’m saying these indulgences are okay? Am I doing it because I am a kindly old teacher? Am I just lying to you so you will feel better? I am not. I am basing this upon critical research data. That data is the rest of us practitioners. Because you know what? We are cheating too.

Everyone is doing Magick Wrong

We cut corners. We skip things and let things slide. We break rules we think don’t matter, or which we think we can get away with breaking. And people have done this for thousands of years. People have bought indulgences. People have looked for the cheapest animal sacrifice. People have skipped fast days. People have been light on the collection plate. People have skimped on offerings. People have used sharpie instead of ox blood to draw their circles.

Christian Church fathers have spent two thousand years disagreeing upon the proper way to practice the magic of Christianity. Judaism is practically one big argument on the topic of how to practice Judaism correctly. Everyone is practicing Magick wrong. Doing practically anything magick related means doing something wrong in the eyes of others. Doing anything magick related created heretics and heterodoxies. And doing something, anything, magick related means breaking your own rules. You can’t avoid it.

So what does this mean? It means we all bend rules and skip things? And it means that bending rules and skipping things make new things. It means that doing things wrong creates new things. And this is where new forms of magick arise, when somebody decides to practice magick wrong, but diligently. You are going to break rules. You can’t avoid it. But you can write down what you did. And if you wrote down what you did, no matter how wrong, and wrote down what happened after, then you can anticipate what will happen when you do it wrong that same way next time.

How you can be less Wrong

Magick can be said to be practiced properly when there is a system which you are following. Anything without a system is just flailing about. You need a system, a set of rules to impose upon the world. This is true even if you are inventing the system yourself. When it comes down to it, any system of magick is just a choice between a system you invented, or a system somebody else invented. Many systems of magick claim supernatural origins, but none of them have been able to definitively prove their claims. So if you are practicing an existing system, you are basing that decision on your judgment of the system itself and the people who are selling that system. And in any case, you are unlikely to practice somebody else’s system precisely as they direct. So in the end, any system of magick you practice is your system of magick.

Magick can be said to be practiced properly when you are getting the results that you want. That’s it. Are you getting results? Are they the results you want? Are they repeatable? Can you anticipate, to a reasonable degree, the results of your magick? If you can do this, then you can be said to be practicing magick properly. What other metric would you suggest? If you do magick as per some moldy old book and you get the results you want, then you are practicing properly. If you practice magick as per some moldy old book and you fail to get the results you want, then why continue to use that book? Do not trust something or somebody who demands you continue a practice that is not generating the results you want. They are selling something.

You can improve your results by using the scientific method as the basis for your magickal practice. We will go into this in more detail elsewhere. But if you are methodical in how you change your practice, based on the results you are getting, you can systematically improve your results.

This book will teach you how to do this.

It’s okay to be Wrong

I think it is important to point out early that you will never be right as far as other practitioners are concerned. They will critique your practice. They will critique your tools. They will critique your method. They will critique your logic and your system and your theory. They will critique what books you choose as resources. They will critique the groups you associate with, and the people with whom you interact. Magicians are an insecure lot. Magicians are rarely confident in the path which they have chosen. And so, like insecure teenagers, they hide their insecurities by critiquing others.

But you need not care what other practitioners think. Let them say as they like. Let them do as they like. And if I may be so bold, be generous about their practice. Be tolerant of their views. Let people adhere to whatever ideologies and systems give them results, or even just give them comfort. You don’t need to care what they think. And you don’t need to get defensive. Be magnanimous, and the decent ones will come around. What they think has no bearing on whether your practice is successful.

The keys are simple: Are you true to your system? And are you getting your desired results? It’s that simple. Why should you care about anything else in your practice? An ugly car that gets you to your destination is still a car. A fancy sports car with no engine isn’t really a car at all. Do not adjust your practice solely to please others or meet their expectations. Instead, continue asking the two key questions. Are you true to your system? And are you getting the results that you want? If those two requirements are met, then you can continue as you are- even if other people think you’re doing it wrong.

This book is, among other things, an account of what works for me. This is an account of what has worked for the author. You are not the author. And so, while I offer this in good faith, I will not be upset if you modify or even discard it. The key is results. This generated results for me. It may generate results for you. If it doesn’t, don’t use it. I won’t be mad.

Whether you practice the art as depicted in this book, or some other book, you will be wrong. Whether you follow the teachings of the author or some other alleged occult expert, you will be wrong. This book will teach you how to be wrong right.