Today I stumbled across the secret journals of my mentor: Freeman Harbinger. I am at a loss. How do I reconcile the man I knew with the man who wrote these journals? The man now ash upon the wind as paper lanterns float on the water was an atheist and a practical man. Harbinger was know to dabble in the spiritual realm, but always sought evidence. And so I never thought that he actually believed in this magic?
He was a naturalist. He always maintained that any magic would not be paranormal. The word paranormal means beyond the normal, but Harbinger always maintained that any magic would follow the rules of the universe and so it would not be beyond the normal, it would expand the normal.
And here I find his journals, a record of his secret mad quest to find some ancient lost text of magic- the Ars Holistica. A quick glance through the notes suggest that he did find it, or at least a part of it. And his notes indicate that this Ars Holistica is encoded in his journals somehow. This is an aspect of my partner, my mentor that I never knew, I must read this. But I now find that I do not know who Freeman Harbinger was, and if I ever truly knew him.
I am digging through the journals of my late partner and mentor Freeman Harbinger. Within those illegible texts- which I now loving call the ‘lost journals’- I have found an apparent method to Harbinger’s style of thinking. How does one view all perception as an illusion and still operate as a sane man in society? How can he distrust his own eyes and still be so sharp a detective? He always seemed grounded, despite all the odd quirks and affectations. I saw the root of problems so quickly and wasn’t fooled by the lies people told themselves. How does one do that, if you don’t believe your own senses? I must be missing something.
I am also puzzled by his quest for this so called Ars Holistica. his notes and journals are not dated or numbered, this is Harbinger after all, and as such I forced to sort them as I go. I shall try to assemble them in order for this collection. But of the notes I have found, scattered about in anachronistic order like a message back through time, I see indications that Harbinger did indeed find his mythical book of magic. This still bewilders me. A whole side to Harbinger I never saw.
It reminds me of a conversation that I would have with Harbinger on a regualr basis where he would point out that people have whole worlds inside then that they don’t let others see, and whole personailities that they only show to those who know the code.
That said, I have yet to find Harbinger’s assembled copy of the Ars Holistica. I guess I’ll keep reading.
I can see the train wreck approaching in Harbinger’s journals. I can’t help but compare them to St. Pierre’s increasingly unhinged scribblings. None of this bodes well. Listen to me, writing about the past as though it were the future. This is what the written word does to us, it displaces events in time- they become islands unto themselves. Whatever happened to Harbinger happened long ago, the man is dead. It only feels like the future to me because I am just learning about it now. Stories make us and our struggles, our victories and defeats, immortal in a strange kind of way.
Why did Harbinger write this down? Why did he keep these records? Why would he risk somebody else finding them? I’ve not finished reading the journals, but there is no way that the events described end well for anyone involved. Harbinger was optimistic all of the time. How did he keep his faith and hope in humanity after these events? I’m not a great one for faith. Harbinger noted it. My wife notes is regularly.
I have trouble trusting myself, and I have trouble trusting the world around me. If the events that Harbinger recounts turn out as badly as I suspect, how could he still manage to trust himself and others the way that he did? What lies did he tell himself to keep himself sane?
Professor Harbinger's School for Villains 