I have heard it said that, cult is what big religion call small religion. That said, many small religions are built around systems or people who are toxic to members. And as we are a cult, it behooves us to explain what constitutes a dangerous cult. Consider it a seat belt. These rules will apply to any communities, not just religions. Whether school or club, family or nation, these rules will make it obvious if you are trapped in a toxic system.
At the core of toxic social systems are the Three Violations. First: violation of personal boundaries. Second, repression of information and interaction with the outside world. Third, control of personal lives and theft of autonomy. The first violation is a violation of consent. By violating personal boundaries the toxic system deprives its members of the power to withdraw consent. The second violation is a violation of education and personal development. By violating personal development, the toxic system prevents the member from learning enough to object or escape. The third violation is a violation of autonomy. By violating autonomy, the toxic system renders the member not just a cultist but a slave.
By contrast, healthy systems will instead honor the Three Safeguards. These replace the Violations. The three safeguards are: consent, education, autonomy. By protecting member’s right to give or withdraw consent, the healthy system protects the individuals from overreach by abusers. This applies whether the abuser is an individual or the group itself. By protecting the member’s right to education, the healthy system guarantees that any member will have enough information to make informed consent. By protecting autonomy, the healthy system will prevent the group from subsuming members and combat groupthink.
Healthy system cross boundaries only with the consent of others. When do healthy systems violate consent? When consent was already violated by others first, and only to prevent further violations. This means things like intervening in a physical assault. Healthy systems open the flow of information to education. When is information restricted? Information is restricted only to protect personal privacy, to protect the community, and to protect individual safety. Healthy systems respect and nurture autonomy. When do healthy systems violate autonomy? When the need to protect safety outweighs the need, temporarily, for individual autonomy.
It should be noted that virtually all violations are effectively violations of consent. Consent is key. Whenever a member of any group finds themselves feeling uncertain or uncomfortable regarding the behavior of the group, reframe the situation in terms of consent. If the member’s right to give or refuse consent have been removed or ignored, then something is wrong.
Recommended Reading
- The Reactionary Mind: Conservatism from Edmund Burke to Donald Trump, by Corey Robin
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini
Professor Harbinger's School for Villains 